i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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