I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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