Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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