YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
