i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
