You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
