i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
