I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
