I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
