is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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