wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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