How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
