Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
