Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
