Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Buhtt sex?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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