Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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