I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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