you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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