forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
