Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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