i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
