do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
