this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
