tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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