just come out here and I will go home with you...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
