Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize