Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
