If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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