I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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