Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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