: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
