I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
