she woke up with a sticky ear
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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