I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
