So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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