You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
