he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
