only you would photoshop your dick
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
