so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
