fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
