So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
