I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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