Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
