Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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