I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
