Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
