Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize