ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize