I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he was CRYING into my vagina
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
