Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
