Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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