Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize