Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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