Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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