I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
