I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
