Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize