Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I believe in your delicious
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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