worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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