Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
