Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
