Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i dont even know how to be here
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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