do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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