belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize